My Son, Aidan just celebrated his very first Thanksgiving. His grandparents from down in Kentucky came up and we enjoyed some time with them. There is one funny image in the gallery below of my father-in-law scowling at the waitress while Aidan flirted with her. He wasn’t mad, but I think some protective grandpa instincts kicked in or he was waiting on a refill of his drink… one or the other. The picture immediately below shows a lot of my son’s personality though. He’s silly and quite the entertainer already.
There’s a lot that has been said about how community is dying in the face of things like social networking in our age. I am one of those people who have become so connected to networks instead of people over the last few years. I check my twitter. I write on my blog. I visit friends on facebook. I skype everyone else (which is so much cheaper than a landline phone). There is an increasing feeling I am immersed in a world that is created as a facade by the real people I never touch. But this is not me…
Read More Post a comment (1)I just got this look. Tired after a long day and still recovering from the flu myself, I decided to finally go to bed. So I turned around and told the dogs to “go to bed”. Granted, I was talking mainly to the dog in the background who is laying on my pillow since little Rogin can’t get off the bed by himself yet. But do you see the look on both their faces?
Same look. Same thought.
“Promise, I’ll be good. Don’t send me to bed.”
There is a difference though. The older dog, Dugal. He has earned our trust. We can leave him out and he will be good. But the one that is hard to resist, ah he’s a disaster waiting to happen. We’d wake up in the middle of the night with the smell of burning fur in our nostrils from him chewing electrical cords (or another smell).
But it’s so hard to resist. Rogin is like a little teddy bear with a round puppy belly that likes to be scratched. Dugal on the other hand, grumbles if you hold him too tight too long. It’s a light kinda growl thing he does. Not really a growl though because there is no malice in it. We call Dugal our grumble pup because of it. Rogin has such sad eyes too….
Keep Aidan in prayer. He has the flu now too. He doesn’t seem to be feeling too horribly bad just yet, but we took him to urgent care this morning and they confirmed he has it too. So far, I remain the only healthy one around here. So pray for Becca as well.
The good news is now that Aidan has what Becca has, she can now hold him which she hasn’t been able to do since Sunday for fear of getting Aidan sick. So momma and baby are comforting each other.
The pictures above are Aidan from last week that we thought were cute.
It’s been crazy around here lately. Let me share a few things that have been going on recently. No this isn’t a complaining post… just read to the end (I’m sorry, I know it’s long). ;) My wife has been sick as of late. It started Saturday with a mild cough. Then it became body aches too.
Let me back up a bit though.
Saturday night, my parents had called to say that their car had broken down. They needed someone to come and get them and take them home. Now if you know my family, you also know that my dad has AIDS and with that a weakened immune system. So staying out of cold nasty weather in the middle of flu season is a good idea. Becca was working on Saturday so she wasn’t with me when I picked them up and took them home. I drove back and picked Becca up when she got off and scheduled to meet my parents Sunday afternoon to drive my dad around to fix their car so my mom could get to work on Monday. It was an easy fix and would only take about an hour or two, half of which was going to be going to get parts. That night Becca started feeling terrible just before bed.
She felt better Sunday morning so we thought we’d head to church.
Little side note here is that this is when I am informed that all my sites are down and I have to call my webhost and get them all back up. Stupid little database issue. It gets fixed and we think we are going to be late to church.
There’s a new church that I went to last week and really liked. I wanted her to come yesterday. Since she was feeling better with some rest, she went. Of course, we completely forgot about the time change. We showed up, asked where the children’s workers are and was told that we forgot about the time change. So, we went and got the breakfast that we had skipped because we thought we were going to be late.
The service was good. A passage from the beatitudes about the righteous inheriting the earth. We then drove with Aidan out to my parent’s house. Of course with my dad’s weakened immune system him and my mom decided that it would be best if Becca did not ride in the same car with him and her staying at their place probably wouldn’t be a good option. It was decided that Becca should be taken home with Aidan and they could both take a nap. Becca was starting to feel worse at this point. Not too terrible. Just sick like any other cold.
It gets worse from here.
I drive back to my parents house, pick up my dad and go find his tools at their house here in town. (yeah, they have two places, one they live at and the other they use for storage at the moment) We go back take the part of the car and head to the parts store. At this point Becca calls me.
“My temperature is 103, I called R&T (some friends of ours) they are coming over to get me and take me to the hospital.”
I love my wife. Sometimes, though she does things without a whole lot of warning though. My first thought was “why didn’t she call me? I’m close. I can take her.” Then I realize she thought the whole thing through already. If I take her, what do I do with my dad who is stranded? I could take him with me while I take Becca to the hospital, but it could kill him. I could take him back out to his place and tell him to wait another day on the car, but I would be another hour doing all that running around since my parents live a bit further away. See, I love her partly for this reason. She thinks things through then comes to a conclusion and lets me know the end result of her whole process. Many times I am tempted to get upset because I wasn’t a part of the whole process but when I think about it I usually come to the same conclusion she did, just after the fact.
So, in short without consulting me, she came to the best conclusion. Call friends, finish up with your dad, meet me later.
T takes Becca to the hospital. R comes over and watches their three kids and Aidan in our home. I meet Becca at the hospital to check in on her while she sits in the waiting room, then I drive my dad back to the car where he finishes up there. An hour has gone by. Becca calls me.
“The lady who came in after me who has the same symptoms… they told her it would be four hours. They also told her that they have an urgent care facility about twenty-three miles away that has no wait and are equipped to treat flu-like symptoms. They close at six. It’s five-fifteen now. R&T have offered to drive me up there.”
“My dad and I are finishing up here. I am on my way.”
“I don’t think we have time if we are going to make it before six. R&T said we have to go now.”
“I am on my way. I’ll be there in five minutes or less”
“I don’t think we have time. Meet us at the hospital.”
“I’ll take you. I’ll be there…. or just go, I’ll catch up.”
Racing a Train.
I turn to my dad, ask him if he is good. He is. I jump in the truck and head home. Albeit a little quicker (except for those stupid speed camera traps). Halfway home I have to cross railroad tracks. A train is coming. Oh great! Just what I need. To sit at a signal and wait. I see the train. I see the lights. I also had friends when I was in youth group who died of a car-train collision. The train is far enough away by the time I get to the tracks. Of course I sped up upon seeing the train. (what would you do?)
You know trains look further away when you are both heading for the same intersection. It was a slow train, I will say that. When I got to the tracks it was about 1/10 of a mile away. There were no crossing bars across the road, just lights. Still scared me though as I crossed the tracks a little faster than normal. I think I scared the train driver more cause he laid into the whistle like a banshee. Under normal circumstances I would not have crossed the tracks. The mere prospect scares me. I stop if I see lights a mile away usually. In short, don’t do it even though I did.
That was the fastest I’ve driven in awhile when I pulled into our parking lot at five-twenty-five.
Everyone was piling into R&T’s van when I pulled up. Four kids, two of which were under 10 months old. I get quick directions. Becca jumps in. They tell us that they will take Aidan home with them, while I take Becca to Urgent Care. I try to keep my speed at only a-little faster-than-normal speeds up to the urgent care facility.
We make it at five-forty-five or so. They were still open. No wait, just as promised. Becca feels horrible. (But to me she looks as beautiful as ever.. ‘cept paler)
Influenza A.
Okay, so that little section heading says it. Regular seasonal flu. Still nasty. Still contagious. Still could be really bad for someone with a really weak immune system. Treatable. Prescription prescribed. We leave. I take Becca home. I drop of the prescription. I go get Aidan from R&T’s house. He is sleepy. I stop and get pizza as both Becca and I are hungry. I pick up the prescription. I make it home. Becca is in bed. I put Aidan to bed. I am exhausted. I call my friend in Arizona, M who I don’t really tell the whole story to because I don’t want to unload on him randomly (even though he is more than okay with it and I know it). He proceeds to tell me how something I said the other day really helped him. Of all the times I needed to hear that, it was then.
Other Contagions
I am truly blessed with friends. I may not have a whole bunch of really close friends in life, but I have a select few and they are good ones. R&T who come over take my wife to the hospital, watch Aidan on a whim and we can trust them with him are amazing people. I don’t usually say too much about how good a friend someone is because it sounds hollow just saying it. People always feel like they have to respond with “oh’ it’s no big deal” or “that’s what friends do”. Maybe a card is a better way to go for me or maybe it’s one of the many reasons I am writing this post. This is one of the few places where I feel I can be myself and think through what I have to say before saying it because the rest of the time even though I speak from the heart. But when I do, the words feel rushed and inadequate to what I really want to express. M in Arizona, I’ve never met in person. We actually met on Halo 3 a few months ago. Somehow over the distance and through some silly online game that we both play we have become good friends. Our wives get on and play with us sometimes as well as M’s kids. He’s been a great encouragement to me, sent me jobs he’s found that could fit what I am looking for. R,T & M. Thank you for your help, your encouragement and just being there somehow for us yesterday. It may not have seemed like much, but it helped me get though the day. It is friends like these that make me want to be a better friend myself. This is one contagion I want to spread.
I am truly blessed with my family. I love my wife. I love my son. I love my dogs. Becca does her best to provide for our family while I’ve been hunting for a position, working from home on websites, and being a daddy to Aidan. With a wonderful family like this, one can’t help but feel that there is something more they can do. Right now, I’ve been hunting all over the country for ministry jobs and nothing has opened up. Becca has a really decent paying job and she is good at it and it’s close to home. We don’t want to relinquish this time with Aidan to a daycare, so I stay home. Sometimes I feel guilty about it, more often than not, because I want Becca to be able to stay at home with Aidan and come home to her. I know that is something she wants as well. I think that makes it hard. If there is one thing I would wish on anyone, if I could do one thing for someone it is this, to give them a family that loves them. This is another contagion that I would infect people with.
I am truly blessed with my faith. I think it sounds haughty if I say it that way, but there are days I couldn’t get though without God. After all, he’s the one who gave me this beautiful family and these good friends. I struggle a lot with my faith though. Not in the sense that I wonder if I have faith, but in the sense of learning to trust God. I think it became more real yesterday than it has in awhile. I don’t think I would have raced that train if I really had a perfect trust in God. I would have just said “thy will be done” to God and waited for the train to pass…. maybe. See there’s an issue with that scenario too. We have an extraordinary God who sometimes calls us to extraordinary measures. No, maybe I didn’t feel like God told me to come within a tenth of a mile of being hit by a train. Then again, maybe he wanted me to see something about myself.
If I would jump in front of a moving train to merely get my wife to a doctor sooner with a sickness that isn’t too terribly life-threatening, go out of my way to help my dad and out of my way to prevent him from getting sick from the same sickness, then there are a lot of people out there who still need to have someone love them enough to simply tell them the good news that Jesus Christ died on a Roman cross 2000 years ago as a sacrifice for our sins so that we could have life that no one could take away. Without, the wages of sin is death. As followers of Christ, this is our calling. Save those who would die from death, and present them with not only life, but introduce them to the author of life. What is a person worth? Maybe this contagion is love. I hope you catch it.
I’ve had one of those days myself. The new puppy crying. The baby needing fed and a diaper change. The other dog ripping apart a pillow on the couch. My wife called from work and said that her next check is going to less than we budgeted for. Sigh.
Put the puppy in the kennel. Spank the other dog. Feed and change the baby, then put him in the playpen. Put dinner in the crock pot. Do a load of dishes. It’s been stressful. I’m not complaining about that though. Being a stay at home parent is tough. It’s probably one of the hardest jobs there is, but at times it is stressful just like every other job on the planet that I know of.
So what do you do with stress wherever you are? I find that putting on music helps. For me, headphones and my ipod plus streaming pandora (www.pandora.com) is one of the best ways to stay productive and relaxed under stress. What works for you?
For those of you who have just started visiting and reading decloned, you’ve come in at a weird time. Our family has been going through some major changes. My wife and I just had our first child, Aidan in January. Prior to that I left the church I had served at for about five years. My wife, Rebecca, went back to work full-time. I’ve become a bit of a stay-at-home-dad/blogger/freelance web designer kind of guy while I hunt down ministry jobs online. I’ve had several promising interviews over the last few months, but nothing has come of them. This last month, we got another dog. This last week we sold one car and bought another after we wrecked another car we owned. My wife and I have been trying various local churches to find one where we feel at home and where we can be ourselves again. We found another home for one of our cats and are looking for a new home for the other cat. My wife and I determined a few months ago that we just were not cat people at this stage of life since we had our son. Maybe we’d get another one someday when he’s older, but dogs work better for us right now.
In short Life Comes at You Fast. In one year everything has changed. I am enjoying being a daddy. I love my wonderful wife, Rebecca, more everyday. I really, really want to find a full-time ministry job that will allow her to be a stay-at-home mom. We are still working through paying off debt. I still desire to get a good camera (canon 7d in case anyone has the extra cash laying around). In short, there are still things we want, still things we desire and still things we need, but we are still here. God is still in control. My prayer life has taken a turn for the better (yet still needs work). I am learning to trust God more, to lay down pride in my life more, to be open more, and live a more honest existence. I’m not there yet and next year I probably won’t be either. God is though and He is still working.
Lately, I’ve felt like either the Poopy Police. My son, Aidan, is just over nine months old. He stands on his own. He crawls everywhere I let him and sometimes places I don’t. I take out the dog, I clean the litter box, and I change Aidan’s diapers. I have become a bit obsessed with washing my hands as of late to keep things a bit more sanitary around here. I seem to have developed a special skill though. Usually, I can tell if someone has pooped just by sniffing the air. Example…. Here I am in the bedroom minding my own business, when in wafts an invisible cloud of odor that permeates my nostrils. It’s uncanny. The dog could have a gas attack in the living room and I’d smell it before I get out of the car to come into the house. Well, maybe not like that but you get the point. Maybe it’s just a daddy thing. Because mommy, she still has to lift Aidan up and smell his trousers most of the time before she knows for sure.
Today, I am sick with a cold and trying to let Aidan hang out in his playpen most of the day so that I don’t get him sick too.
My little guy just began standing on his own today (or yesterday as I am posting this a little after midnight). It won’t be long before he’ll be walking. He’s 8.5 months old now. It’s been since December since I left Discovery Church as Associate Pastor. I think it’s been since March when I left Olan Mills as a studio photographer with them. I really can’t remember. This dad thing makes everything run together. Timelines become a blur of feedings, diaper changes, cuddles and naps.
I will tell you about my favorite activities with Aidan so far though.
#1. The Supervised Freecrawl.
This little activity basically revolves around Aidan crawling and rolling around on the floor while I chase after him and keep him from the things that he otherwise would get into and possibly hurt himself with. Most of this is letting him crawl to a certain point and then I come over and pick him up and turn him the other way. He then crawls till he runs out of space and I chase him down and turn him again. Apparently it’s a real crowd pleaser with the cats who immediately go to sleep watching this apparently crazy owner of theirs expend so much energy chasing after his spawn. I did add a new variation to this little activity today though. I put Aidan in a hooded sweatshirt and put my ipod touch in his hood while it played music. It soon became a twirling baby on the floor as he wriggled around in circles looking for the source of the music.
#2. The Shaggy Dad Mall Walk / Aidan Flirts With All the Girls.
I am trying to lose weight right now. It’s part of a grand plan of actually being able to keep up with a growing boy in the next few years. This means that when I can get out and go for a walk with Aidan, I try to. For some reason walking around the neighborhood pushing a stroller seems odd to a guy, at least me, so I try to go to the mall and walk around there. At least there I can duck into the bookstore and even if I am walking around, everyone assumes I am waiting for my wife to come out of a clothing store. It’s a nice deal especially since they have Air Conditioning. Now Aidan is a cute child as you can see from the videos. I get people from all walks of life who comment about how cute he is. I do try to discourage certain people from getting a little too close to my child though. More on that Later. Well, Aidan is all the rage with girls aged one through ninety-eight. You can’t tell me that a woman isn’t wired differently from a guy. Put a cute baby nearby and it comes out. Aidan loves the attention though. He’s already figured out that a girl or woman is fifteen times more likely to smile at him or talk to him than any guy. You can bet that he takes advantage of it too! He is all smiles when we go to the mall. I’ve stood surrounded in public places while people ooh and ahh over him, seriously it’s that bad on occasion.
Now when my wife isn’t able to go with me as many time she isn’t, I have a secret weapon that I use to keep the double digit x chromosomes from swarming my child. I wear a hat, headphones and listen to my ipod. I don’t shave and make sure that I look like I just crawled out of bed. Right now, since I am in the middle of a job hunt, I have let my hair grow out a little longer. I’ll cut it before any serious personal interviews, but this shaggy-headed, unshaven and hat-wearing guy (who is distancing himself even of the sounds around him by listening to his ipod) does a lot to stave off those who would otherwise comment on my infant child in some way. Aidan still tries to draw their attention though. He giggles, squeals, and sometimes even laughs hysterically when he sees someone who he thinks would give him some attention walks his way.
Now, I told you that there were certain people I heavily discourage from getting too close to my child. I have nothing again certain, well… stereotypes, but there are people who make my skin crawl at the way they seem to stalk babies. Here is a few of the people I try to avoid when I am out with my little one.
Waitresses – They don’t usually do too bad, but I’ve had a few that wanted to hang around while we ate and talk about Aidan… in detail. Most often, they are wanting to share cell phone pictures of their little dumplings at home. It really cracks me up when a waitress uses a food-based name to refer to a child. “Honey” isn’t too bad, but if they start referring to a kid as “dumpling” or “cutie pie” or “small fry” I start getting a little uneasy.
Moms with an Entourage of Children in Tow- There is some really weird advice people give you when you have kids. These moms are the weirdest. They have seven kids ranging from fourteen to negative 2 days (meaning that she is getting ready to pop out one more) and they have advice. More than enough. They can tell you about natural cures for athletes foot or how to tell when your child is going to be sick more than a week in advance. They act like they have just won the cosmic lottery for being miserable and are sure you have too. Another thing that I think is funny is when these moms start fawning all over my child and say something like “Isn’t he just the cutest baby I ever saw?” This is where I look up and try to make eye contact with all of her brood one by one and laugh like a maniac on speed.
Wal-Mart Greeters and Employees - Maybe the greeter is assuming when I walk through those sliding glass doors that I am bringing the child back as an exchange and they want to put a smiley face sticker on his forehead and direct me to the service counter where the lady there can announce to the rest of the store the cuteness factor of my little one before I start the rounds to each of the departments where they all bestow blessings of “Have a nice day!” or tell me about their 19 kids and 6 grandchildren that live out in Omaha, except the littlest because he lived with his dad who got bit by a shark while swimming in the river drunk one night. I sometimes just wish I could write down all the crazy stories I hear at the magical “World of Wally”.
I know it’s going to be bad when I walk in the first doors and the person hobbles up off their chair throws their walker down and sprints about 40 feet to stand there and make sure that they get my little one’s attention when I get to the second set of doors. Sometimes, I take my time and act like I am picking the best cart out of the cart lines (and check all the wheels to make sure they roll freely to amp up the anticipation factor. Sometimes I just want to run in and try to make it past them before they get across the aisle. Here I know I’d lose cause they’d get me on the way out.
